Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tiger's Pandering Apology Playlist

If you're like millions of other golf fans... Americans... Or even if you just have an address somewhere on this planet... Tiger Woods had something to say to you last Friday. He wanted you to know that he made a mistake and most importantly? He was 'sorry'. A little piece of every last one of us died the day we found out that an immensely rich and famous pro athlete had been cavorting with attractive cocktail waitresses.

So for all that pain and suffering you certainly endured... for all that weight you lost after those sleepless nights... for those golf lessons you were inspired to buy for your uncoordinated kid... Tiger just wanted us to know... 'he's sorry.'

We'll leave the pandering to Tiger. We're not really here to play the holier-than-thou game or stir up the blood in the media shark pool. Actually, we're just here to stalk Tiger's children on their way to school. Or maybe follow his mom to a Jenny Craig meeting...

We kid, we kid... we actually just want to listen to some good music, and we'll use the rise and fall of a sports icon as our opportunistic springboard.

(Check out Tiger's playlist after the jump)

Her Space Holiday - Sleepy Tigers
And it all started out so well... The perfect lazy Saturday song for young love... it doesn't hurt when you're a professional athlete and a model.

The Avett Brothers - Ill With Want
But before doubt and suspicion creep in, The Avett Brothers have just the sick, daunting feeling that sets it all up.

Of Montreal - Women's Studies Victims
Of Montreal always has just the right self-depreciating, sleazy and promiscuous words to fit the mood.

Ben Kweller - Sawdust Man
When it's all said and done, the man who stood on top just blew away when the breeze came.

Sufjan Stevens - The Mistress Witch from McClure
It's another thing when you're kids have to discover their father's transgressions.

Discovery - Swing Tree
The Discovery of a few texts messages led to the Swing of a golf club and the crashing into a Tree.

Shiny Toy Guns - Chemistry of a Car Crash
It took the cops and media a long time to piece it all together, but eventually the true chemistry behind the crash was revealed.

Bat for Lashes - Sleep Alone (909s in Dark Times mix)
I would imagine on the couch... or probably in one of the other 14 bedrooms in the mansion.

MillionYoung - Soft Denial
"Hey, it's me... Tiger. Um, I'm gonna need you to change your phone number and voice mail... and uh... stop talking about me on your MySpace page..."

Amanda Blank - Shame on Me
Public speaking may not be Tiger's thing... He used thousands of words to ramble this incoherent message over and over again.

Maps - Lost my Soul
Nothing seems more pertinent than the lyrics of Maps: 'I found it all, but I lost my soul...'

Jay-Z - Lost One
Who better than to preach the downside to fame and fortune than Jay-Z...

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